I know a woman, who for almost the entirety of the 10 years I have known her has sought to make my life a living nightmare.  Criticize, criticize, criticize.

I saw her Friday.  Her speech, meant in her mind to be a pep talk, came across as a judgmental parade of words.  You can do so much better.  You are the only one who can make your decisions.  And I don't know the circumstances, but you can do so much more, etc.  Instead of blowing up at her like my mind kept pleading for me to do, I simply nodded her off.

Yet, I should have said something to her to end these mindless tirades.  I should have said, "You are not my Mom, Dad, boss or professor, therefore I do not have to listen to or heed what you say.  You may have years and experience on me, but you lack compassion and the inability to judge.  So, from this point on, you no longer have permission to push my buttons or to judge me.  I do not have to take your crap anymore, so I won't.  Thanks."

That's what I should have said.  But my pride was bruised, and I was dumbfounded. 

Do you ever run into people that do that to you?  How do you handle it?

As I browse around Facebook, looking at wedding photos or reading amusing status updates I suddenly realize that to be smack dab in the middle of the Information Age, I know less about my friends than ever before.  I talk to my friends less than before, and oddly enough I feel closer to the random guy that subscribed to my blog than to my closest friends. 

Really think about it.  Social networking sites have allowed so much in the way of meeting new people, or keeping in touch with nation and internal friends, but I keep getting the nagging feeling they've also taken away.

I mean, sure you can log onto Facebook and see that Bob is now in a relationship.  Great, congrats buddy.  Now you don't have to know how Bob is doing, because news feed has informed you that he's great, he's found a girl.

Or suppose that Joan keeps you updated on her life through her About Me section.  Why she's done all the work for you!

Or thanks to those silly surveys (don't worry, they suck me in too) you now know that Christine's favorite color is blue.  So now you have finally become the amazing stalker you always aspired to be, and you can totally impress Christine with your mad knowledge of her favorite flower.

But what do you really know about Christine?  You probably don't know that she's really been struggling with school.  Or you may not know that behind the happy facade of Joan's About Me lies the difficult relationships she's struggling to overcome.  And what about Bob?  His parents don't approve of the new girlfriend.

You don't know those things because the photos, the witty comments, and the ever-increasing quote list tell a different story.  Perhaps life isn't that bad, but I'm sure not everything is revealed over the internet.  Because as great as the advent of sites like Facebook and Myspace have been, I also think there have been some unintended consequences.

Because, no doubt, they have been great.  These websites have made it easier to remember everyone's birthdays.  It is now easier to get the word out about upcoming campus events, to contact multiple people at once, and so much more.

On the other hand, it has taken that personal level away.  Way back, people used to write long, intimate letters to family and friends.  Upon arrival of the phone, people used that as the primary way to keep in touch.  It too provided length and depth of conversation.  Now, people say, "I'll send him a message on Myspace or write on her wall.  The level of personal communication is gone because a) everyone can read it and b) it isn't suited for much more than quick quips.

One of my favourite professors once stated that he thought texting was the equivalent  of sending smoke signals (he said it not me), and I'm beginning to think social sites such as Facebook might be as well.  BecauseI can see the ways in which my friends and I don't take the time to pick up the phone to tell each other something important or no. We simply click the log-in button.  And I must admit I'm beginning to resent it.  This may be because I have the life equivalent of a hermit.  Really, I think it's more likely because I'm starting to realize the value of human interaction and conversation, which may be because I have the life equivalent of a hermit. 

I mean, I know a lot of the trivial stuff about my friends.  I can tell you what they're interested in by their Flair board.  I've read the status updates, seen the photos, heard about ALL the engagements, but beyond that I think it's safe to say there isn't much more than that.  I have come to the conclusion that this is partly because we have been conditioned to do things in this manner, and partly because we are lazy.  Either way, I believe it bears some serious consideration. 

Although, I should take this opportunity to say that such sites have been great for my acquaintances.  Those people whom I don't really know well enough to know anything they don't post online.  Although I suppose it could be argued that such networking and frivolous trends have inhibited me from getting to know those people better.

What do you think?  Have you ever felt that these popular social sites were serving more to hurt your friendship than to further it?

I have been blessed, I guess you could say, to know many people who exhibit that holier than thou quality I despise so much.  You know what I'm talking about.  The type of person that puts (either directly or indirectly) other people down because they don't think they're as good of a person/Christian.  They give you that condescending look whenever you don't talk the right way, say the right things, or play into their hands exactly the way you think they should.  Yea, you've probably known a person like that.

I have known several who would make me cringe everytime I was forced to have a conversation with them.   And it isn't even that I thought they were some horrible person who was going to hell for their arrogance.  (who am I to judge)  It was always more of how it made me feel personally, and how it looked to the average person staring from afar 

Personally, I hated to hang out with the people that judged me because I wasn't on as high a plane as they thought they were.  I didn't like their sore attempts to make me repent for all of my wrong doing just because they didn't do it which must mean that it is immoral, unethical, and sinful.   I never liked how I was left out of the group because I didn't fit their ideal personality.  Perhaps, it was because I didn't attempt to portray myself as a perfect person, when I clearly knew I was far from it.   I was never okay with they way they made it obvious I wasn't good enough for their club, or the way they would try to lure me in simply to prove their "I'm better than you," attitude all over again.

Then, there was the way it looked from a random bystander.  Someone who saw that person or group of people as a club of hypocrites.  The people who refused to be a part of that because they too did not want to feel like less of  a person for merely being a person.  I always noticed judgmental it would come across,and how people would run away from that because no one really wants to be judged.  Then, increasingly I noticed how I, myself, would venture farther and farther away, with very little thought of hanging out with that person or those people again.

Because while I knew that most of those people never really meant to come across as  holier than thou, they did.  While I knew at heart they were good people with a lot of experience to share and the willingness to do so, I couldn't continue live with the feeling of smallness.  And I knew that some of those people really were hypocrites, who really did think very highly of themselves.

In the end, I just had to walk away.  For the betterment of myself and others.   I knew the type of person I didn't want to be, and I knew that at times I would have to work very hard to not be that person.  Basically, I had to be me.  Me really isn't very judgmental or arrogant.  Half of the time me is lucky to have confidence at all, but that desire to be the best person I could be without giving off the dreaded holier than thou persona has been one of the best things that could happen.